Posted November 30, 2010 by Greg Dragon in Spicy News Reel

The best times to attend the movie theater

I compare a visit to the movie theater with that of going on a road trip – you can only remember the good parts and it normally turns out to be a nightmare. When you visualize the theater you think “oooh that movie is gonna kick ass, AND it was filmed in 3D just like Avatar!”, when you imagine a road trip you think “oooh get some snacks, put in my favorite playlist and I haven’t seen my buddy in forever!” Your mind blinds you of what’s to come, the road rage, the traffic jams, lurking State Troopers and of course gas money. In the theater you will deal with ultra bright iPhones, iPads, people kicking your chair and screaming babies (yes the 17 yr old kind).

Since theaters like AMC do not enforce good behavior in their theaters, writers/moviegoers like myself are forced to offer alternatives to help you – our readers, get a better experience. See less is more, and the less bull you have to deal with in the seats, the more you will get to appreciate a movie. It’s a wonder that Netflix is kicking ass and damaging theater attendance, we don’t have to deal with strange jackasses when we rent!

The Best Times to see a movie

1. When there’s a Nerdy Cult Movie.

Yes you are relatively safe when it’s a movie like Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Star Wars or anything that has a legion of adults playing dress-up in the seats. These audiences are generally well-behaved and courteous to fellow cultists.

2. Sunday Mornings

Old people (no disrespect) are in Church and they typically drag the bratty kids there with them. Theater prices are chopped in half ($5/movie at my local AMC) and the seats are pretty empty. Just don’t you all go rushing out on Sunday now and exploiting my best kept secret :).

3. Unpopular old movies on the opening night for a popular movie

Unless you get that teenage couple who basically bought tickets in order to make out and have strange sex in an empty theater… this is golden. All of the people who are out to ruin movie experiences tend to like big openers so you can be safe if you don’t mind being one of the last people to see a movie. One drawback is that theaters will migrate a movie to the tiniest screen on it’s later showings so you won’t be getting that super, larger than life screen.

4. Friday Mornings

Of course this is hard for you worker-bee types but if you want to see a new opener without the rush of the night crowd, why not skip work early and knock it out?

Then again if it isn’t something that you need to see larger than life, as in Avatar, King Kong, or Star Wars, then you could wait a month, rent it on Netflix and avoid the high priced concessions and jack-assery in the seats. Trust, I love the theater and I don’t want it to go away but it will if things don’t change and the things that need to change are people behaving selfishly. Till then it’s every moviegoer for himself. Happy movie watching.

Greg Dragon

Cinephile and opinion writer, Greg Dragon has been a fan of movies since the 80's when Kung Fu theater was all the rage and Roger Moore was James Bond. Greg is the founder and lead critic of Spicy Movie Dogs. You can follow him on Twitter @Rafacus or on his Google+ account.