The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
I went to see Narnia last night with hopes of another Fantasy movie that I could add to my “must have” collection. Upon entering the theater I observed the crowd expecting to see the typical storybook crowd (insert nerdy, glasses wearing stereotypes here) but I was surprised to find families even though it was 12:01 […]
I went to see Narnia last night with hopes of another Fantasy movie that I could add to my “must have” collection. Upon entering the theater I observed the crowd expecting to see the typical storybook crowd (insert nerdy, glasses wearing stereotypes here) but I was surprised to find families even though it was 12:01 am! Having no clue about the book series and a bit tired but open-minded to what I was to view, I sat down with my Jalapeno laced hot-dog as the screen cruised through the next series of Disney cliche movies and Pixar gems. Then the screen darkened and the people began… cheering. Ohhhh Kaay, I thought, maybe I should have read this CS.Lewis book so I can feel the love too…
Narnia starts off with a family being caught within the crossfire of World War II, and takes us into the home of an eclectic professor who had agreed to house the four children until the war settled down. I found two of the children to be likeable, the adorable little Lucie and the oldest brother Peter were very likeable but the annoying little brother and the big sister… well let’s just say I was hoping my beloved witch would freeze them until the movie was over. After exploring the professor’s mansion due to a game of hide and seek, little Lucie enters a wardrobe closet which takes her into a magical world of metro-sexual Satyr, bad CGI animals… that talk and probably the best witch ever cast in a movie (true story, check the next paragraph for my worshipping of her)… Anyway they meet the locals, get comfy, figure out they are part of a prophecy, a battle ensues with Jesus at the head… oops I mean the Lion at the head (rolls eyes) and a bunch of minotaurs and centaurs clash into an awesome melee with my favorite witch reaping bodies in the fray. Then you get your trademark “only this kind of luck happens in the movies” ending and they live happily ever after. But don’t let my cynicism fool you, I liked a good portion of it.
Okay so lets get to what I liked and didn’t like… Tilda Swinton (The Witch) was awesome, before I worship her maybe I should explain. She portrayed the cold-blooded, heartless witch perfectly, I could almost feel her evil aura just watching her and she looked and acted the part perfectly. But that was not just it… her character is a witch but, BUT not only can she freeze you with magic… she can fight like a hellion! Dual wielding broad swords atop a chariot drawn by two polar bears, Tilda stole the show for me (I think I was he only idiot actively cheering her on as she cut down the good guys), needless to say if I were in Narnia I would be her b—-, okay that’s going too far but you get what I mean.
The things I didn’t like? Well the kids were a bit much on the annoying side, their little British charm with the manners and dress kind of softened the impact of their annoyance but it was a bit much. The lion looked very fake… it’s 2005 people, look at KONG, learn a thing or two. I was not impressed with the CGI but many of the animals looked decent… don’t worry if you aren’t looking for this stuff you won’t notice it. For me the Lion could have used a make-over, but let’s move on. As much as I wished this had the epic proportions of a Lord Of The Rings… I am sorry, this felt like a lukewarm “Holy Rollers” version of LOTR, okay maybe that’s not fair but it was a good movie… that’s it just good not great, not epic, not “oh my god I almost cried when the King led the glorious charge into the melee” type of great. It’s a good flick, for cynical fan-bois like myself, you will find the witch is reason enough to see this flick… for parents, your kids will worship this movie. No lie, go see it, just leave your Lord Of The Rings expectations at the ticket booth and go into it with some patience.