Bitch Slap (2009)
“I’m out there sweating my ass off and you’re in here bashing gash!?”
Says a hot, bloody and sweaty Camero (America Olivo) to her two mates Trixie (Julia Voth) and Hel (Erin Cummings) going at it in some hot sexual action inside a trailer. This is pretty much Bitch Slap, it is a movie about tits, ass, lesbian sex, strippers, katana blades, high powered machine guns, tits, more ass, blood, guts maggots, more strippers and femme fatales. If you have seen a true B-movie in the past like Toxic Avenger, Barbarella or any of the Evil Dead series, just take that look and feel, throw in a dose of trying too hard and mix in softcore porn to get Bitch Slap. There is only one thing that makes me love this movie, and it isn’t the story, direction or soundtrack. I love this movie simply because it is a live action Playboy spread of Julia Voth and America Olivo all in one place. My inner perv reaches out to Director Rick Jacobson and hugs him.
There is no delusion as to what the movie was about, granted near the middle a sort of story develops and we get a sick twist at the end, but as a whole the movie is made to be a b-movie version of a softcore porno. The memory still stays in my mind of sexy Camero popping a red pill and then touching her naughty parts with her fingers as she goes into crazy mode. Seeing those beautiful eyes of Julia Voth close in passion as Erin Cummings plants face to crotch on her water soaked… let me stop. I am just saying – for all the swordplay, gunplay and surprisingly great choreography in the girl fights, I left the movie thinking about sweaty breasts.
One character I forgot to mention was a wicked little Asian pixie named Kinki (Minae Noji). Now Kinki doesn’t speak any English, but her nasty Mad Max reject man toy Hot Wire (William Gregory Lee) understands everything she says. The two are perfect icons for a mock B-Movie but I couldn’t say the same about Kevin Sorbo (yes he’s in here) as Mr. Phoenix. Bitch Slap is the type of movie that you hide from the wife and break out when the boys are over to hang out. I don’t think any man can hold out on watching sweaty hawtes tangle in gunfire while their goods flop all over the place so I know it will sell well. As far as plot, story and all the other relevant things to film, forget about it. Bitch Slap is plagued with one flashback too many, which in the spirit of cheesy B-movie goodness is funny at first, but gets old by the time you are on your 6th “5 months earlier”.
America Olivo delivered as Camero, being made to act the crazy bitch for an hour and a half is quite a feat and of the three girls she did the most. Trixie (Julia Voth) is the beauty that will command your attention the entire movie, and her story wraps up in a wonderful way that warrants a second chance of watching the movie for everything else other than the sex. Rent Bitch Slap if you’re curious but if you want to keep your girlfriend make sure that you watch it in the privacy of your own male chauvinistic quarters. This Blu-ray is absolutely, 100% not for the eyes of minors, or their moms so purchase/rent at your own risk. I am willing to say it’s worth it.