Posted May 30, 2011 by Greg Dragon in TV Show - Recap

Game of Thrones Recap 1.7 – You Win or You Die

“When you play the game of thrones, you win or you die. There is no middle ground.” – Cersei Lannister

Is Ned Stark (Sean Bean) having the worst year of his life or is this how it is for a Lord? I am starting to think that Ned has a dark cloud over his head shooting down lightning periodically whenever time seems to be regulated to peace. We learn that Ned was the one who found the throne empty for the taking after the death of the mad king, yet foolishly turned it over to his unqualified buddy Robert due to his own Ned version of honor that I am still trying to figure out. I don’t know whether to cheer this man on as his life gets worse and worse, or cast him aside as yet another tool for manipulation by the wormy Lannister clan. The chess match in the last few eps have been Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) versus Ned and I have to say that Cersei brought her bitch of an A game. Sure Ned threw the “you take your brother’s penis from the back” diss in her face but she counters with the twisted “we shared our mother’s womb so we belong with each other”… what the hell Cersei! Then there’s the little frog bastard imbred baby Joffrey who shows what a punk ass king he would be near the end of the episode. If Joffrey ruled, as soon as Cersei turned her back somebody with an actual spine would gut that little bastard in one motion. What a completely worthless kid.

Jason Momoa as Kahl Drogo killed, no he absolutely murdered the monologue in this ep. I don’t think the big man has uttered 2 words before this episode outside of a few grunts and the word “no” but when poison almost finds it’s way to his sweet white haired queen’s lips, all hell breaks loose – the Kahl goes nuclear. I mean come on, why would you even try Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) now that she has her Kahl 150% p-whipped and in love? We saw what happened to her own brother when he dared try her in front of the Kahl – he died with his head soaked in molten gold. Now here comes this idiot merchant, by command of the idiot king Robert Baratheon to try and sell her poison in front of her own people. What did he think would happen? Well he’s made to run behind a horse with his hands bound until he of course falls and is taken for a dragging of death.

But wait, that isn’t all, because now Kahl Drogo knows that the men across the seas wants a piece and now he wants a piece too, but not for himself, no, he’s going to do it for his seed growing inside Daenerys. Dude issues a promo to his men that had me wanting to ride with him, it was THAT epic. He promises the iron throne to his unborn son, swearing on all sorts of horses and his father’s name (I think he said he would rape their women and enslave their kids too… damn Kahl, you mad?) – you just had to see it, it was hands down the best delivery in this series so far aside from Robert Baratheon’s tale of killing his first man.

Outside of these two major occurrences, we get to see King Baratheon die after being gored by a pig (how fitting), Little Finger betray Ned, and Jon Snow taking the black and becoming a do-boy for the Night Watch… I hope it gets better for the bastard Stark. Punk ass Jaime Lannister (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) is growing on me, like I said (even for a sister f*!ker) and I see why readers of the book series say that you cannot get attached to anyone. The kingdom is now on full tilt ladies and gentlemen and Ned Stark has crapped out from being naive and trusting. Who will save him now that girly boy Joffrey is on the throne and his blonde witch mama and her “influence” has garnered him a miniature army to protect him? Can we safely say that shit just got real?

Greg Dragon

Cinephile and opinion writer, Greg Dragon has been a fan of movies since the 80's when Kung Fu theater was all the rage and Roger Moore was James Bond. Greg is the founder and lead critic of Spicy Movie Dogs. You can follow him on Twitter @Rafacus or on his Google+ account.