Posted April 25, 2011 by Greg Dragon in TV Show - Recap

Game of Thrones Recap 1.2 – The Kingsroad

Readers of the Game of Thrones books I have to ask you, are all the characters supposed to be so hateable? I admire a handful of characters but the way things are going I am unsure whether to trust them or if they’ll turn around and become little assholes too.

This episode was all about little Bran Stark (Isaac Hempstead-Wright) and his recovery from a wicked fall after he was pushed out of a tower by the Queen’s brother. the push came after the boy interrupted the brother giving it to his sister from the back… you didn’t read that wrong. Thought dead after the fall, he is bed-ridden and comatose as his mother (sorry I don’t like her, she looks tired and old) obsesses over him, praying, creating dolls and being a bitch to her husband’s son – as if he could help being born from another woman. At one point the Lannisters (the queen’s family) sends an assassin to finish him off and his mother “Lady Cat” earned my respect by fighting him off like a cornered tigress. This leads to one of the best scenes in this ep as the boy’s Dire Wolf comes into the room like a bat out of hell and tears the assassin’s throat out.

The little girly looking prince bumps heads with my favorite character, the tomboy Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) and finds out that not all Starks are blind loyalists to the royal family. Her brother Jon Snow (Kit Harington) was leaving for the Black Watch and has a blade forged for his little sister as a gift of protection in his absence. The two share a moment and it makes me think that it is Jon who taught her how to nock a bow, fight like a boy and all the things that she was interested in. He presents her the rapier and she hops up and lovingly hugs him – which is the only real warmth he receives from his so-called family before his departure. Jon is a pretty cool guy and the way Lady Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley) treats him makes me really dislike her character.

Anyway Arya is practicing the way of the sword with the butcher’s son down by the river when the punk ass prince and Arya’s sister come upon them. Upon seeing the kids playing, Prince Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson) decides to show his ass and cut the butcher’s boy in his face. Arya relents to protect her friend and her pet wolf brings the hammer on the piss boy by biting him on the wrist (I loved it), reducing the boy to tears and whimpering. When the king gets wind of the events of the day he lets his incestful whore wife run the show and they order the wolf killed… good thing that Arya is quicker in wit and let her wolf escape earlier into the woods for her protection. Wanting revenge, the foul Queen Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) orders another wolf killed in its stead. They choose “Lady” who is Arya’s sister’s pet and Lord Eddard “Ned” Stark (Sean Bean) decides to do it himself. For Ned this is a glimpse into the shit that he has agreed to serve as the hand of the king.


Let’s talk Joffrey the piss boy a bit shall we. This kid is the epitome of royal excrement, he’s power hungry and a little bitch in reality (the dwarf Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) bitch slaps him no less than 4 times earlier in the day). Arya not only disarms him of his sword but reduced him to tears whimpering for her not to cut him before she tosses his expensive blade into the lake and wallops him with a stick (the butchers boy is murdered for the insult by the way). Let’s be honest, this Joffrey and his nasty family (with the exception of Tyrion) are the heels in this tale. They’re not going anywhere and they serve the purpose of pissing us off on a weekly basis. God I want this little bastard gone!

Finally across the thin sea our favorite warrior the Khal Drogo (Jason Momoa) is still giving his new wife some wicked beast sex as she tries to get acclimated with her new life. She has some plans of her own and smiles coyly at her 3 dragon eggs which leads me to think that she thinks to hatch them somehow to do her bidding. One of her consorts reveals that she was a sexual master back in the day and Daenerys (Emilia Clarke) has her teach her the way to seduce Drogo proper. Well she put “that thing” on the king and he seemed happy enough, so maybe these two will play nice in the future and take out her bitch ass brother prior to raiding the mainland.

Whew these episodes need to be 2 hour ones I swear, too much to tell in too little time. Anyway there were no nasty dancing, gyrating black women in this one so I can say that the episode was a step better than the first. If you aren’t watching Thrones I implore you to start, the show is all sorts of amazing and they haven’t even started clashing swords yet! Everything ends with Bran opening his eyes and I am sure that he will sing a tale of the Lannisters that will lead to some wicked drama.

Greg Dragon

Cinephile and opinion writer, Greg Dragon has been a fan of movies since the 80's when Kung Fu theater was all the rage and Roger Moore was James Bond. Greg is the founder and lead critic of Spicy Movie Dogs. You can follow him on Twitter @Rafacus or on his Google+ account.