Machete (2010)
Machete is a lot of things, it is a kickback to the original Grindhouse project helmed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, it is fan service to all of the guys who wanted more cheesy gore and flesh and it is a cynical, brown middle finger to anti-immigration laws and the people behind them. When we saw the trailer to Machete during the introduction of Planet Terror, many of us laughed... [Read more]
Piranha 3D
The 2010 version of Piranha 3D combines nostalgic themes of horror with a bit of Girls Gone Wild and gore. For viewers of the original 1978 version of the film you may be turned off by the emphasis of breasts and ass over the piranhas but for what its worth it still worked. If you are younger than myself (child of the 80’s) you may have missed out on the cheesy movies that USA would show... [Read more]
Tekken (2010)
Tekken marks yet another movie in an extremely long line of badly portrayed video game adaptations. You would think that with all the blaring examples of what not to do when making a video game movie, these newer titles would get it right. Tekken annoyed me, from the ugly character actors, to the cheesy Tekken City and the choice of characters to lead the story. I hate to keep bringing up... [Read more]
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
What do you get when you take an underground comic book, slap some videogame coolness on it, and then follow it up with a soundtrack written by Beck? Scott Pilgrim vs. The World that’s what! Famed director Edgar Wright, whose awesome work includes Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, went the comic book route to bring us one of the best videogame movies that’s NOT based on an actual... [Read more]
The Expendables (2010)
The Expendables is everything you would expect it to be, I mean let’s be honest, you have a movie that pools together all of the most memorable action superstars of 20 years and give them guns, what do you really think is going to happen? The movie has more murder per minute than the standard modern day action and the fight choreography had me grinning from ear to ear with every situation. The... [Read more]
Inception
Can Christopher Nolan do any wrong amongst fans? The man has become the silent Jerry Rice of Directors, making big plays whenever he’s thrown the ball and stepping aside gracefully until it’s his time again. Inception was described to me by a friend as having left him with the same feeling of wonder that he felt when he first saw The Dark Knight. For me it was all pistons firing... [Read more]
Salt (2010)
Salt is your run-of-the-mill summer action movie with a twisted story akin to The Bourne series or James Bond of old. Like those movies the action is over the top and crazy, guns blaze and sparks fly but the PG-13 rating spares us the blood and guts that should accompany such wicked projectiles. One scene has Evelyn Salt (Angelina Jolie) killing a guy by ramming the jagged end of a broken... [Read more]
Predators (2010)
Suddenly the Asian guy, who has spoken maybe 2 lines throughout the entire movie stops and settles himself. Looking back the team wonders why he hesitated and he motions them to keep moving… they do so without anyone caring to question his suicidal motives. Not even the pragmatic but empathetic Isabelle (Alice Braga) gives a thought to saving Hanzo the Yakuza (Louis Ozawa Changchien).... [Read more]
The Last Airbender
Rushed, soulless and harboring some of the worst acting I’ve seen in an adaptation, M.Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender will probably become the blueprint for future Directors as to what not to do when making a movie. Leaving the theater a fan of the Nickelodeon show described what he had seen as a “highlight reel of all the cool things from the first season.” When the credits... [Read more]
Jonah Hex
Well it had all the makings of a special movie: cool looking hero, sexy side-kick, machine guns strapped to a horse and John Malkovich. It had the Western flair, the civil war and Ulysses S. Grant yet it somehow forgot that movies need to be interesting in order to work. Jonah Hex was so bland that words cannot describe how disinterested I was throughout the entire movie. Based on a DC comic... [Read more]
The Karate Kid (2010)
This will not be a popular review for 2 reasons, the first being that most people are not martial artists, and the second being that little Jaden Smith already has a ton of haters for whatever reason. Foreword – My Feelings on The Karate Kid series (lengthy) Before getting into the review I must explain a bit about myself. I am a martial artist, have been all my life and will continue... [Read more]
The A-Team (2010)
So The A-Team wasn’t the steaming pile of garbage that everyone expected it to be. Even I was guilty of uttering the words “The Losers looks more true to the A-Team than the A-Team does” back when they were flashing the trailers before every movie, but I was wrong and the A-Team didn’t fail. I had no idea that Sharlto Copley was such a funny individual (he plays Murdock), his timing... [Read more]
