Hostel (2005)

I liken a good gore movie to a good roller coaster; and like a roller coaster, there are some who love it, some who can be talked into experiencing it and others who stay far away from it. Hostel in of itself is like a brand new roller coaster that is made to shock newbies to the ride itself.  It starts out smoothly, teasing you with occasional loops and deep dips here and there to get you feeling good then it takes you up the occasional climb where you anticipate the sudden drop that will occur next.  You are being taken up this hill for the predictable drop but you hold on tightly and look at your neighbor, hoping that the drop will be worth it…

I mean the drop will be the difference between it being mediocre or great right?  Then the drop comes and the drop is pretty deep but nothing different from the one you felt on a roller coaster three rides ago.  So the drop turns into a little twist, then straightens out, to take you back to the line.  In desperation you think back on the drop, but in reality the twists and curves felt more compelling than the drop did except the last part which hangs in your head a bit but you still don’t feel inclined to ride it again. So you do what anyone would do after a ride that is supposed to be great comes off mediocre… you check your buddy’s reaction, only to find yours mirrored in his/her’s face.  So you chalk it up to being mediocre regardless of the surprise drop thrown in the end, not worthy of praise but not really that bad either.

Too long, too little and too much.  That is my synopsis of this Tarantino production that mixes Sex, Drugs and Violence into a movie about three backpackers who visit a Hostel for some easy women.  The sex scenes were… borderline NC-17 and the acting was decent at best.  The gripe I have with this film is they focus entirely too long on the bonding of the three males and the sex parties they engage in.  So much time was given to this that when you get to the blood and guts that you sat down for, it feels like 15 minutes worth and it flies by quickly! There is one scene in that ending sequence that kind of stuck with me, you will have to “see” it in order to experience it for yourself but apparently that wasn’t enough to scare me into rating this one high.  Nice try but I hope they seriously re-cut and edit this one for the DVD, it has a lot of hope but falls short of it’s mark. Less ass shots and more blood and blades please, if you’re gonna give us gore, give us gore. Next ride please.