Driven to Kill

When I recieved the DVD of Driven to Kill I immediately started laughing. As you know Steven Seagal has many fans (myself included) but has been the brunt of fat jokes and unkind rumors for quite some time. It was the bad art on the cover that made me realize that it was DTV (direct to tv) and I was eager to watch it for some comedy relief.

Driven to Kill details the life of one Ruslan Drachev (Steven Seagal), who is an ex-Russian Mafioso turned writer. Take some time and think on that for a minute. Ruslan is invited to the wedding of his daughter and sets out on a revenge-run after she and her mother are shot during the wedding rehearsals. That is the long and short of the plot and it doesn’t get any more simpler than that. Seeing Seagal’s fat fingers struggling on his keyboard made me laugh so much I had tears in my eyes. The man could not look anymore uncomfortable as he did in the snug chair typing his so-called “novel”. As if this wasn’t enough, he adopts a laughably bad Russian accent which phases in and out depending on how long his dialogue is at the time. He mumbles his words (typical Seagal fashion) and the constant switching between English and non subtitled Russian drove me crazy. I was only able to follow the dialogue after turning on my own subtitles and it still wasn’t enough being that much of it stays in Russian without subtitled help. The action is set-up by cheap introductions, think “hey buddy you just bumped into me, now you will pay for the disrespect!” The fat man actually throws down a bit unlike some of his latest films, and the cheesy “hide behind a crate” shoot-out scenes were cause for more laughter. Seagal’s ex-wife (Inna Korobkina) is a hotty, but the bad gray wig and loser husband did not fool me into believing she was mother to Seagal’s daughter (Laura Mennell). The women looked similar in age and Laura’s acting was not enough to immerse me into the facade. But this is besides the point, none of the parents seemed much older than their children (aside from papa Seagal) and I really liked the look of the bad guy, Russian mafia boss Mikhail (Igor Jijikine).

Overall, the look of the movie isn’t too bad, that is if you can avoid shaking your head at the badly tailored suits that Ruslan wears. One of the funniest scenes has Ruslan inside a strip club with Mikhail’s son Stephan (Dimitry Chepovetsky). Seagal looks so out of place and uncomfortable with the naked blonde in front of him that I fell on the floor laughing. Strangely enough I swore I heard a fart noise as soon as the scene switches. Following this scene we get to the absolute worst part of the film where Ruslan knife fights a guy. Within every frame is a cut-away of a knife slashing a jacket (which I assume is supposed to be the jacket of the guy he is fighting) and blood splatters everywhere, yet when it pans out there is barely any blood on him. This switching back and forth was nerve wracking and really bad. Still the remainder of the fights were pretty enjoyable and when Seagal goes up against his enemies, he spares no mercy in breaking them down and killing them.

I really enjoyed Driven to Kill for the hilarity in Seagal’s typing, his droopy clothes and his tanned scowl. The fighting was mediocre but the way he hunts down the men and destroys them is pretty good, all cheesiness aside. If it is a question of acting, Dimitry Chepovetsky does a great job as the mourning son of Mikhael and to be honest, Seagal’s Ruslan was probably the worst of them all.

If you are a fan of Seagal’s legacy or a fan of the action movie genre beyond that of the Box Office, then I suggest you check out Driven to Kill. Not convinced? check out this trailer:

Written by Greg Dragon – who has written 365 reviews on Spicy Movie Dogs.

Cinephile and opinion writer, Greg Dragon has been a fan of movies since the 80's when Kung Fu theater was all the rage and Roger Moore was James Bond. As an opinion writer that has reviewed Box Office releases on a number of prominent websites, Greg is the founder and lead critic of Spicy Movie Dogs.