I Am Number Four

I Am Number Four is an odd choice to make Box Office. The production value, score and special effects seemed more geared towards NBC, FOX or TNT television and the High School in a small town backdrop never seems to do well in major releases. There has always been a problem with the Sci-Fi genre releasing a bunch of turds after every successful nugget. Well yester-year gave us District 9 and James Cameron’s Avatar so seeing something like this fail in every aspect of “what is good” should not have shocked me.

Synopsis: There are a number of aliens, (9 I think) and they have super Jedi powers. Each of these 9 aliens has a Guardian to protect them from a horde of other aliens that have guns (let it sink in). This leads to a chase which pits guns against Jedi powers and takes place on earth within small towns and beaches. At least this is what I saw, and even though the aliens can raze whole schools, somehow the rest of the human race has no idea that they are out there. From the 9, the first 3 are killed and #4 is chosen to be the star of our movie as we follow him in his escape from the gun toting bad guys.

What was wrong with I Am Number Four:

• Adults playing High School teenagers
• Football Jocks picking on the small nerd until the protagonist hero steps in (1980’s cliché)
• Hitler would love this movie, everyone’s blonde and lacking in body fat
• The bad guys make lengthy speeches prior to the deathblow (convenient rescue writing)
• No explanation is made about #4’s Jedi powers or his planet of origin.
• Attention to detail is non-existent. Camera with film being used like a digital.
• BLATANT iPhone advertising.
• I felt less intelligent walking out of the theater.

I can keep going, but something in the back of my mind tells me that this movie was not meant to be very good. It borrows heavily from stereotypes, clichés, and the former bad sci-fi movies that should have taught younger directors what not to do. Actually to be honest with you I think that I am too old for this movie. When I went to see it I had the privilege of being in attendance with my girlfriend’s daughter and her boyfriend – both teens. While girlfriend and I rolled eyes until they hurt, the teens thought it was the best thing ever. Not a movie for the grown-ups, but neither are Pixar movies and those are excellent! There goes my age argument.

If there is any saving grace to this movie it would have been Henri played by Timothy Olyphant, his role as guardian to John (Alex Pettyfer) could have been very forgetful but to be honest with you he was one of the more likable and memorable characters. Older audiences would do well to stay away from this stinker and not let it take you away from science fiction. It is the same tale we’ve seen several times over just mixed in with things that are meant to get you excited. There’s blonde jail bait, aliens, and a big chase – if this is all it takes then I am number four is for you. Unfortunately for me it was a huge waste of time and money, and a mistake that I hope to save many of you from making.